Part I – The Art of Mentoring

There are several misconceptions that must be set aside before there can be any analysis of an effective mentor. A mentor is not a friend. In fact, true friendship is much too tolerant for effective mentoring. Mentorship based on a personal relationship alone will not allow either party to openly participate to their mutual benefit. This is also not the buddy system. In summer camp, assigning a buddy could have been seen as a defense against drowning, but it was to sound the alarm rather than teach a buddy to swim. The mentoring process involves a willing partnership between two individuals to accept roles as “wise sage” and “apprentice learner.” A successful mentoring system will have distinct individual requirements to fill these two roles. Since the learning needs for a mentee begins as a result of a lack of specific knowledge, it is possible to first focus on the key characteristics for being a good mentor. Each of these ten characteristics has an equal and opposite complimentary element that pertains to the mentee in a successful relationship.

1. Commitment – To say that a mentor must be display a willingness to accept the role is an understatement. If the assignment to fill this role does not come with a passion for the employee’s development there will be no learning. Failure is never an option.
2. Compatibility – The pairing of a mentor and a mentee is not a random chance event. The purpose is not to polish someone into a clone, but there must be mutual interests and intellectual maturity for the relationship to be productive.
3. Knowledge – The individual selected must already possess all of the characteristics desired in the mentee. A mentor must have the job content knowledge, an understanding of cultural norms, and a deep understanding of the objectives of the partnership.
4. Respect – There must be an assumption by management and coworkers that the individual selected as mentor is a stellar performer in the organization in performance of their job and in contribution to a collaborative culture.
5. Communications – Both verbal and non-verbal skills must be finely tuned. In addition to traditional means of transmitting information, the mentor must also be willing and capable of performing tasks as an example for the mentee to emulate.
6. Character – The mentor must be a shining example for honesty, integrity, generosity and responsibility. No, perfection is not a goal. It is important for the mentor to be able to handle human failings and cause change to happen. Humility and an understanding of self is important.
7. Stability – Without being emotionless, the mentor must feel honest emotions and know how to deal with them. Mentee emotions must be recognized and understood as well. Sensitivity to the dynamics of the relationship builds a stronger bond.
8. Feedback – The use of two-way feedback facilitates and clarifies intended directions. Demanding excellence and establishing acceptable levels of performance sets standards for measuring performance and providing necessary feedback, both positive and negative.
9. Challenging – Pushing the mentee hard enough to create positive stress is desirable, but the ability to sense when undefined but discernible limits are being reached. Encouraging pursuit of individual goals stimulates initiative and creates new ideas and standards.
10. Objectivity – A mentor must always know if and when to pull the plug on the relationship. If there is any reason that the mentorship is not working, it will be necessary to discuss with the mentee and report the facts to management in order to salvage the employee’s development even if it means terminating this specific relationship.

With care taken to choose mentors with these characteristics, why does it often fail? We also have to assume that we have applied the same standard to the mentees in order to stack the deck in favor of success. It is not uncommon for management to operate from an institutional schizophrenia where on one hand there is a prescribed mentoring program and on the other there are no resources budgeted to actually make it work. In a situation where there is no time allocated for the mentor to do this critical work, we might as well add an 11^th characteristic called Superpowers. Asking both parties to commit to this program requires credible support or it will fail.

 
Image credit: kgtoh / 123RF Stock Photo (Modified)

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