Job Seekers: Embracing Negativity for Positive Results

There was a New York Times Op-Ed piece a few months ago by Oliver Burkeman titled The Power of Negative Thinking. This grabbed my attention because I have always been an advocate of the opposite theory that positive thinking keeps us on target and productive. In this article Burkeman highlights new research that is actually a confirmation of ancient philosophies that there must be balance between positive forces and negative ones. He emphasizes balancing “…optimism with pessimism, a striving for success and security with an openness to failure and uncertainty.” I am anxiously awaiting the release of his new book The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking scheduled for November 13^th. Reading between the lines it appears that the shock value of the headline is somewhat tempered by insisting on balance and he quite rightly points out the dangers of an all-positive approach.

There is a constant struggle to maintain equilibrium whether we want to recognize it or not. To ignore the negative aspects of a job search blinds the seeker to a realistic point of view. Consider these points.

1. Over-optimism is highly stressful – When there are setbacks or events do not match the expected plan there can be sheer terror or at the bare minimum a sense of frustration over events not under control. The reality is that we can only program our actions and cannot control the actions of others. Yes, that pesky interference from other people can throw us off track and it is usually totally unpredictable. In any decision-making paradigm the most effective results come from looking first to control those things that are under our influence.
2. Seeing only the negative ignores balance – There is good in the world even if sometimes it is hidden by clouds of negativity. Knowing that there is something else out there keeps us going. Sometimes if we take the time to analyze the negatives we get a clearer picture of what is causing us harm and break through. Even if breaking through the cloud leads to a denser cloud it is just one more tier to overcome. To let the negative forces totally overcome us is toxic to us and causes us to be toxic to others.
3. Traditional positive thinking motivation is superficial – Just as superstitious good luck charms like a horseshoe or rabbit’s foot have no scientific evidence of sucking the bad luck from us, positive-thinking slogans are not capable of pulling the negative weeds out of our lives. Motivational speakers are good at making us feel good for the moment, but it doesn’t really wipe out that hidden internal image of badness. We are only fooling ourselves if we actually believe that we have stamped out negativity forever. The best motivational slogan is “Shit Happens!” followed by doing something about it until it happens again… and knowing that it probably will.
4. The power of positive thinking is no more powerful than negative thinking – Accept the encouragement that “Things will get better” and then set your eyes on your goal. You will get there… or somewhere. You will always have obstacles to overcome on the path to succeed. If you fail to reach the goal, embrace that situation and figure out if the goal was attainable in the first place. It may be difficult to be objective in the aftermath of a failure, but something went wrong and you need to identify the negative forces in play and look beyond it. To ignore the reality of balance is to admit defeat before you have tried.
5. Embracing negativity does not mean wallowing in self pity – So you had a bad day. So life is giving you stones instead of those motivational lemons you were expecting to work with. Get over yourself! Take a deep breath and look for balance. Can’t find it? You are either not looking in the right places, not looking for the right things, or need to find the reset button on your quest and start over looking in a different direction. While you are looking around, perhaps you can take a glimpse in the mirror at what other people are seeing in you. They probably won’t pity you, but may want to avoid you entirely because of your selfish attitude.

Think about it: It really doesn’t really matter whether the glass is half full or half empty… you still have the same amount of water. Adjusting your perspective may give you a temporary rush, but it won’t change that fact. I propose a new take on this old measure of attitude. Accept a flow of the tide between the two extremes and go with that flow. The analogy of swimming in the ocean with a rip tide instead of against it comes to mind. It is much less stressful to adapt to the situation and wait for a more positive environment before there are serious consequences.

 

Image credit: Positive and Negative Scale iqoncept / 123RF Stock Photo