When is Enough Enough?

In college I was extremely fortunate to have friends… brothers in both a spiritual and fraternal meaning of the word… who had a unique way of educating each other on reality vs. fiction in life. It was a tough-love type of message that could only be communicated by people who were close enough to get the message when outsiders might have been offended. What was that message? When one of us would get a little too cocky or arrogant, the comeback was always, “Well, whoopee damn doo!” It seems funny that we never noticed the fine line between bragging about ourselves and complaining about others, because that reply fit perfectly into both areas. I dished it out as much as I received it, but there was always a sobering message when I would get a little too full of myself that it spilled out in some ridiculous braggadocio or complained too much about my problems that were really not all that unique. “Well, whoopee damn doo!” We laughed, but the message was loud and clear… and necessary.

So recruiters, some company stiffed you on a placement fee… well whoopee damn doo! The reality of enlightened corporate recruiting is that often their database has access to a huge pool of candidates. Some previous applicants were just barely not a match for a previous opening or were a tough cut when the best of the best had to be chosen, so maybe their claim to first contact is true. Maybe they are stretching it a bit because they didn’t even look in their database until you submitted the name, but most are honest and would honor your submission anyway. But what if you did get the short straw? So what? Some clients are not worth the bother and often you won’t know until you trust them far enough to see if that trust is returned. After all [reality check =>] if you are not a value added to their process you aren’t doing your job anyway. Use your expertise to find a unique candidate or find a new client.

So applicants, you applied to your dream job and nobody called you… well whoopee damn doo! While it is fact that there are black holes in the recruiting process that should not be there, it is what it is. Maybe you would have been a good choice if you were not one of 500 applicants for the same job. What did you do to differentiate your resume from the other 499? You can’t fix things that are not in your control, so it would be much more productive to list those places where you can make a difference and work on that instead. Complaining also sends negative signals that can further damage your chances. After all [reality check =>] just maybe you are not the best candidate for the job. It is never about you. Shifting focus to your target company’s needs might help.

So, college graduates, you get no respect from the “older” generations… well whoopee damn doo! Some of us old guys really want to give you a leg up, but some of us are in fact old farts who need a reality check of their own. The one thing that will get in my way toward wanting to help someone at any age is the size of the chip on their shoulder. Generational stereotypes are usually broad generalities that have some basis in fact, but it is a myth that everybody in a particular generational cohort thinks alike. Claiming age discrimination indiscriminately is in itself age discrimination. After all [reality check =>] respect is not something that can be demanded… it must be earned. The respect you give should exceed the respect you expect to receive.

So this topic could go on forever. Write your own whoopee damn doo statements that involve race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or just about any other class of people who have legitimate claims to discrimination and rant about it instead of looking for solutions. Hopefully I’m not bragging or complaining when I say that some of us have seen this over and over again. Maybe that is why some of us become a little cynical when dealing with people who don’t even know that they are ignoring reality. It is also wrong to simply dismiss problems by ignoring them, but it is always true that worry, frustration, anger and egotism are the enemy of fixing them. Monologue is trumped by dialog every time, but that means controlling any human reflexive actions that can defeat any attempts for productive communication.      

Sometimes I look in the mirror and give myself a really good scolding for being so arrogant or complaining too much. Why don’t we all do that more today? Human nature is to be proud of ourselves and a certain amount of ego is essential to being a whole person. But to Roger, Paul, Jim and others that I haven’t seen in a while, you probably deserve this for something: “Well, Whoopee damn doo!”