It is an uncomfortable moment of truth. Someone you know has asked to use your name as a reference for employment. If this is someone that has earned your endorsement it is still not an easy thing to do. If this is someone that you don’t know well enough to recommend it is not easy to say no. In spite of the temptation to always say yes and then offer lukewarm support, this does nothing to help anyone including you. There is no halfway point in being a reference… either you do it or you do not. Two lessons your mother taught you should guide your decision: (1) “If you can’t say anything good about somebody don’t say anything at all.†(2) “You will be known by the company you keep.†If you agree to be listed as a professional reference you are agreeing to support the individual’s application for employment and your own reputation and veracity is on the line. This is also not just a conversation that will go away, but on the contrary it will be documented and be a part of someone’s future.
Before agreeing to be a reference it is important that you know what the individual expects you to do.
- Ask about the details of the job and how you can help.
- Find out what information the person has already discussed so you do not inadvertently contradict anything already in play.
- Clearly communicate what you are willing to say and what areas would give you difficulty.
- Ask for a copy of the individual’s current resume.
If there is mutual satisfaction that you will be a good reference, it is important to understand fully the commitment that you are making. This is a contract to endorse a person to the best of your ability and prepare for the call. It will not be a help to the candidate if you fail in this obligation. Remember the “small world after all†theme because in professional settings you may find yourself working with that company or this particular individual again someday.
The phone may never ring. Due to time constraints or other administrivia you may never be called to provide the reference. If it does come you are ready and must simply remember seven simple rules on being a good reference.
- Be Prepared – Know the answers to questions about your relationship to the person and how long you have known them. Starting off badly makes you less credible.
- Be Honest – Only speak from personal experiences that relate to interface with the individual in question. Rumors and unsubstantiated facts can undermine facts already related by the candidate.
- Focus – It’s not about you! Maybe it is human nature to do so, but many people lapse into a boring narrative about their own roles and forget the purpose of the conversation.
- Listen Attentively – The questions will be simple enough, but if there is a misunderstanding it could be difficult to repair a wrong answer. Ask for clarification if necessary.
- Don’t Say Too Much – Answer the questions directly. If the reference checker has prepared properly it will be disruptive to go off on a tangent unless it is necessary to reiterate the point.
- Avoid the Fluff – Adding flowery language and personal superlatives do not add to the conversation. Unless your adjectives are addressing specific accomplishments they dilute the conversation.
- Always Remain Positive – Some checkers will always ask for something negative to add to their report. It is not necessary to offset your positive remarks with a negative and may reinforce any misgivings already present.
Many reference checkers are doing this under duress and are ticking off mandatory items on a checklist. If you sense that your questioner is unprepared, be ready to take charge and offer substantive comments about skills, accomplishments and results. Only a totally unprofessional checker will inquire about personal information not related to employment and those questions should remain unanswered. In fact, there are legal repercussions in discussing health issues or other non-work related items.
The call is over and you are done, right? No! Call the person that asked for your endorsement and let them know that you spoke to someone and give feedback on how you think the call went.
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