Several times in my writing I’ve talked about my father and how I miss him. As I grew up in his house I never really realized how much he had to put up with when I challenged his “old fashioned ways†with my new ideas. Some of his ideas were in fact antiquated even for his time. His father was killed in an industrial accident when he was a boy and he did the best he could without the role model that he became for me. Oh, we had our moments! Mom said I inherited his stubbornness and I learned later that she was right about that genetic hand-me-down. She was not a biologist, but the genetic transmutation to my kids was so pronounced that I often wondered if it was a family curse. Whether or not it was a curse or destiny, his life proved to me the old adage that any fool can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a daddy. Sperm donors can father children, but nurturing and caring men give so much more than half of a child’s DNA.
Truths Dad taught me without really trying:
- I am fairly certain that I was not an accident. My parents loved and cherished me even when I didn’t deserve it. Even so, reality is that some men make mistakes and may not want to be a father. Only a real man can try to make it right. Call that man Daddy.
- Little boys play games. Life would be intolerable without grown-up games. The little boy in every man enjoys fun and good times, but a real man works for what he wants and is thankful when he gets it. Call that man Daddy.
- All men know the value of respecting a woman’s dignity. Even if we had a shitty father our mothers should have taught us that. A real man treats a woman as he wants his daughter to be treated. Call that man Daddy.
- While we are at it, a real woman can handle just about any situation that confronts her. A real man won’t let her do it alone. He will know when to offer help without assuming that there is a weakness that only he can overcome. Call that man Daddy.
- A weak man will follow influences that he knows deep inside are wrong. A real man stands up for the values that he holds dear. He will not only discipline himself, he will offer an example that others may follow. Call that man Daddy.
So thanks, Dad. I wish I had said that to you more often when I had the chance. My kids call me Daddy and that is a title that I cherish. Not a day goes by that I don’t remember something that makes me think that I should call them to apologize. No man is perfect. All beings that call themselves human are flawed and make mistakes. If you happen to be someone in my life, please know that I will sometimes let you down, but with forgiveness I can rise to meet your expectations. I think I’m worth it… help me if I’m wrong. My wife knows all about love and forgiveness… Lord knows she has to live with that every day!
So on this Hallmark Greeting Card Holiday called Father’s Day let me wish all sperm donors a happy day with the hope that you figure out how to man-up and become a Daddy. You won’t regret it.
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