Prehistoric Origins of Business Management

Splurg was born toward the end of what we now call the Paleolithic Era a little over 10,000 years ago. As was the tradition in their tribe, he was named by his father after the first sound heard in the early morning darkness after his birth. It was believed to be a large wooly animal falling into the glacial pond near their cave, but nobody really knew for sure. Fortunately he had a much manlier name than his sister, Awk and that was important to a young man growing up in rough and tumble times. Survival was often a matter of brute strength over any other characteristic. Somehow he was able to go beyond the expected behavior and discovered a creative side to his abilities. He was known far and wide as a master in creating cave wall etchings.

Communal living meant that hunting, farming, and stone implement making was a common household function and bartering of goods was the common currency. There was no need for services that did not contribute to the health and safety of the tribe… until Splurg introduced them to a way to brighten their caves with his art. At first it was done only for his amusement and recreation, but soon all of his tribe mates wanted to have his etchings on their walls as well. This was a time consuming activity so he decided to band with other cavemen and train them to assist him by using his techniques. He became the first CEO… Cave Etching Organizer.

In a culture where it was usually every man-for-himself, Splurg ruled his organization with a stone fist. While his disciples had also grown up learning dictatorial tendencies, the attraction of exciting work in a creative new endeavor excited them. He was respected, powerful, and judged his employees harshly through a system he called MBO, Management by Oppression. Anyone who dared to deviate from his wishes would be cast out and their livelihood taken from them. Threats and intimidation kept them in line and there were none to oppose him for fear of his wrath. As an example to the others, he would occasionally terminate the life of one of their coworkers to show how expendable their skills were and how broad his powers extended.

Even though spoken language had evolved to the point that most of the people in the tribe could understand each other, he created his own language to communicate with his workers by abbreviating or shortening common words and phrases into insider language that sometimes only Splurg himself understood. He would call meetings of all the workers and mix these grunts and unintelligible sounds with frantic gesture to get his message across. Even though nobody really knew what he was trying to say, nobody would dare question him or ask for clarification. Before this time there was no such thing as morale, so they banded together and invented it… and it was bad. Business suffered as the quality of work became only a shadow of the former etchings of Splurg.

It would be many millennia before the invention of management consultants, so Splurg learned the hard way that a creative and innovative workforce comes from rewards, feedback, and effective communication. The service that he created may still be found in caves all around the world.

 
Image credit: poendl / 123RF Stock Photo