Job Search Reality Check (Part 1 of 5) – The Four A’s of Beginning

There is one of those old-man jokes about a policeman who sees an elderly man pummeling a Boy Scout with his cane on a street corner. “What’s going on here?” The scout replies, “I was just helping this old man cross the street.” The cop turns to the codger, and he says, “But I didn’t want to cross the street!” There are times that a perceived need for help may be off base or unwanted. Trying to paint the big picture for job seekers may be a noble task, but don’t expect it to be wanted or appreciated. It is difficult to advise someone who already knows it all. It is frustrating to see someone going so far afield of the direction they should be going, and they blindly trudge on without blinking. Advising someone requires the most basic of communication skills. Listen before speaking and then speak sincerely from common knowledge or acquired experiences. Then listen some more.

For the job seeker, several prerequisites must happen before you are ready to receive any advice. Even if you are available for help, desperately need help, and are begging for help, there must be an essential foundation that allows communication.

1. Attitude – Before anyone can coach you, you must be coachable. Psychologists suggest that any kind of loss requires going through five distinct stages of grief, and losing a job is no exception. The concept originated in a book by Elsabeth Kubler-Ross “On Death and Dying” in 1969. The first stage is denial, and that is followed by anger. The next step is bargaining in which the individual starts to rationalize their feelings with excuses. That leads to depression and finally to acceptance. If you become stuck in Step 2 and are angry all the time, you need to do more work.
2. Aptitude – Become smarter about your situation and target the areas that are within your control to change. When you don’t know what to do, it is not the time to do nothing. Learn all there is to know about yourself with a total self-analysis of skills, accomplishments, needs, and desires. Make a logical plan that will aim yourself at an attainable goal. If you don’t know where you want to go, you cannot expect someone else to do it for you. Nobody will hire someone who is tentative and uncertain about their direction.
3. Assertiveness – There is a tendency to underestimate personal abilities when things don’t go according to plan. Re-evaluate your goals and make constant corrections to the path and the tactics being used. Leaving yourself vulnerable shows in your character as a weakness. Be aggressive without being obnoxious. When you meet people who are an obstacle, push their objections out of your mind and press forward. When you find someone who offers help, that gives you some sense of accomplishment but hold them to their promises.
4. Appreciation – Be sincere and thankful for small favors and reciprocate whenever possible. The actions of gratitude speak more than words. In the instance where someone teaches or mentors you, pay it forward if you cannot repay the debt you owe. At a bare minimum, say thank you and do it more than once. Tell someone every day how their advice and counsel has kept you on the right path, and that investment in thanks will be repaid many times over.

Are you ready? Put your ego in check and weigh meaningful advice when it is given. Always remember that you need to understand their point of view as well. Not all advice is right for you, but having an advisor is a step in the right direction.

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